Responses of a willingness to listen within
Sketches of the felt meanings beneath and beyond appearances.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
What effect has the internet had on our sex lives?
6 February 2011 11:39PM
Engaging in private self gratifications that use the forms or images of others as objects of fantasy is hardly a real relationship - even between consenting adults.
Sex without relationship is a bit like asset stripping. It seems alluring but hollows out the forms that could communicate life and love.
The real taboo in our society is intimacy whether sexual or on any other level.
Lack of intimacy is a disconnected, alienated sense of a self that leads to a search for substitutes of stimulation - as well as fantasy role play.
We long for a truly intimate sense of being - and yet look for it as if it could be 'added to our self' rather than opened up within our relationships with each other.
It isn't that I care to demonise the creative discovery of sexual communication - whose scope far exceeds the narrow approach of either stress release or fantasy.
But loveless habits of intention and attention, grown in the mind and enacted in the body can become deeply obstructive to the true sharing of defenceless trust in an innocence of being that delights in sharing and being the very life that moves us.
The internet - in part - is revealing the so called 'private mind'. The great thing about becoming aware of our mind, is that we can wake up to that we indulge self destructive thought - and uncover a willingness to let it go.
I'm not on a moral crusade here. I am saying that there is so much more to life than anything that the market seeks to induce you to consume and that market driven society has a vested interest in shaping your thought so that you can believe you a free independent person searching for and gaining happiness in a world that is here to fulfil your private gratifications.
The internet can offer an extra level of virtual reality to that already being acted out in a fantasy life. New ways to be distracted and new ways to access things in a couple of clicks that indulge an often otherwise forbidden experience - in fantasy.
Well I've little doubt that many folk meet up and take it another step and maybe they find someone who really cares for them - and maybe they don't care for anyone else excepting to get a hit off them. A lot of what comes to us in life is found because we are open to finding it.
If you get sick of yourself or your life - you might become open to listening deeper than the thinking that gets you sick. Real nakedness is a defenceless loving welcome. To give and to receive true welcome is NOT coercive, manipulative nor strategically motivated - it is loving. It's straight and its in the light of honesty.
The internet can also be used to communicate - like this. I really enjoy seeing happy people - rather than fearful, downcast or joyless people. So you are right - I have a vested interest here. Joy is your heart's freedom song. You're worth it - because they are. Thanks for your attention.
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